The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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