We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize