you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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