I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
