would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize