I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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