4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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