You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
