If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
