I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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