i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize