mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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