my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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