My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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