Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
