i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
