I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
