I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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