so let's talk penis.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
