i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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