I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
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He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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