I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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