apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
