lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He felt like a one man threesome
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
