I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
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Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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