I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
