I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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