so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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