Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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