somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize