Texts From Last Night

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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....

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  (859): just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese.... http://tfl.nu/man3
  Replies (41) Good night (5008) Bad night (1006)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about

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  (620): I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about http://tfl.nu/33to
  Replies (23) Good night (824) Bad night (4522)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed

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  (979): I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed http://tfl.nu/k1m0
  Replies (19) Good night (4747) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.

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  (901): He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/xizg
  Replies (12) Good night (791) Bad night (6339)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash

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  (570): So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash http://tfl.nu/zmae
  Replies (3) Good night (813) Bad night (3034)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected

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  (310): You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected http://tfl.nu/stz5
  Replies (4) Good night (2799) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.

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  (920): You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation. http://tfl.nu/euxm
  Replies (2) Good night (2600) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on

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  (832): You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on http://tfl.nu/zwxm
  Replies (4) Good night (3154) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.

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  (321): Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip. http://tfl.nu/0cyl
  Replies (7) Good night (1346) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?

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  (347): I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank? http://tfl.nu/v6b9
  Replies (3) Good night (1001) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.

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  (847): When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody. http://tfl.nu/5cds
  Replies (3) Good night (1835) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.

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  (248): If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend. http://tfl.nu/2nlp
  Replies (2) Good night (2075) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.

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  (219): We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual. http://tfl.nu/rrmi
  Replies (4) Good night (1771) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom

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  (917): no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom http://tfl.nu/ipdy
  Replies (5) Good night (1132) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball

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  (732): That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball http://tfl.nu/r3bp
  Replies (7) Good night (685) Bad night (726)

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