Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
