she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
