Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  oh yeah... my b.

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  (248): i need a penis for penetration, you wont do. (1-248): oh yeah... my b. http://tfl.nu/ib6g
  Replies (1) Good night (895) Bad night (1237)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  the condom got lost in my hair

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  (281): the condom got lost in my hair http://tfl.nu/z469
  Replies (6) Good night (682) Bad night (3295)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.

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  (651): I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen. http://tfl.nu/ni4j
  Replies (23) Good night (6097) Bad night (706)
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  (646): View more from New York

  vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic

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  (646): vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic http://tfl.nu/5kjv
  Replies (41) Good night (4430) Bad night (833)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.

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  (414): Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that. http://tfl.nu/4zb9
  Replies (43) Good night (1838) Bad night (6721)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.

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  (765): Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake. http://tfl.nu/5qrv
  Replies (8) Good night (1956) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.

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  (905): Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists. http://tfl.nu/ucjm
  Replies (3) Good night (2263) Bad night (840)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up

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  (814): Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up http://tfl.nu/ova6
  Replies (3) Good night (548) Bad night (1512)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...

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  (214): I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex... http://tfl.nu/zoqe
  Replies (4) Good night (1952) Bad night (531)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..

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  (603): Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please.. http://tfl.nu/45sb
  Replies (4) Good night (641) Bad night (1104)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning

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  (630): We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning http://tfl.nu/kk2v
  Replies (6) Good night (1337) Bad night (544)
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  (805): View more from California

  Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"

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  (805): Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out" http://tfl.nu/3yx5
  Replies (7) Good night (703) Bad night (1177)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.

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  (954): In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme. http://tfl.nu/cq54
  Replies (0) Good night (615) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks

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  (501): It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks http://tfl.nu/tmia
  Replies (1) Good night (350) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that

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  (859): Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that http://tfl.nu/ctlq
  Replies (3) Good night (445) Bad night (239)

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