Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one

(347): View more from New York

Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...

(802): View more from Vermont

do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.

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(347): Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one (347): Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy... (802): do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy. http://tfl.nu/wg4e

Replies (43) Good night (3155) Bad night (909)
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(773): View more from Illinois

the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu

(773): View more from Illinois

which is why it's clearly superior

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(773): the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu (773): which is why it's clearly superior http://tfl.nu/iahv

Replies (26) Good night (2872) Bad night (561)
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(925): View more from California

So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.

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(925): So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid. http://tfl.nu/x26d

Replies (19) Good night (2237) Bad night (3315)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park

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(610): my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park http://tfl.nu/hm3c

Replies (23) Good night (1223) Bad night (5311)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.

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(403): Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear. http://tfl.nu/rnay

Replies (1) Good night (2238) Bad night (700)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.

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(732): Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million. http://tfl.nu/4jbr

Replies (25) Good night (998) Bad night (4124)
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(512): View more from Texas

I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.

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(512): I actually had fun getting arrested. That high. http://tfl.nu/ixl1

Replies (6) Good night (3087) Bad night (1029)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this

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(601): It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this http://tfl.nu/qp1v

Replies (9) Good night (764) Bad night (3529)
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(516): View more from New York

i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD

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(516): i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD http://tfl.nu/cfey

Replies (5) Good night (2046) Bad night (859)
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(512): View more from Texas

Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.

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(512): Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today. http://tfl.nu/tybk

Replies (10) Good night (1466) Bad night (1938)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka

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(618): I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka http://tfl.nu/yt16

Replies (4) Good night (1734) Bad night (1182)
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(905): View more from Ontario

I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.

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(905): I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it. http://tfl.nu/6c57

Replies (2) Good night (2194) Bad night (512)
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(678): View more from Georgia

My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store

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(678): My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store http://tfl.nu/soqr

Replies (7) Good night (970) Bad night (440)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I just told a bottle to be chill

(604): View more from British Columbia

and meant it

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(604): I just told a bottle to be chill (604): and meant it http://tfl.nu/uxaa

Replies (2) Good night (500) Bad night (198)
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(905): View more from Ontario

So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?

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(905): So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose? http://tfl.nu/yuqf

Replies (12) Good night (235) Bad night (1182)

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