i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me