I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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