I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
