ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize