i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Too much gin, very little bucket
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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