Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Randomize
