He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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