North Korea, Best Korea!
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
