Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize