We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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