I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
