When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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