one two three fourrrrnication!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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