Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
