What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
