I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize