your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
