umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
