You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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