come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
