dude i'm inner monologue high
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
