nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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