What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
