Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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