the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
