it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
