I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now understand why vodka
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize