He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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