Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
