Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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