I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
