was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
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Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
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Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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